Enough is enough

Call me obsessive, but I can't live in a house that smells like the floor of a bar.

I sent urgent SOS texts to DM and DMiL and, armed with their responses, I went to war.

I couldn't find any vanilla, but bought lavender and eucalyptus oils, vinegar, cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg and apples. Then I put apples in every room and washed the bathrooms with a mix of vinegar, water, lavender and eucalyptus (in lieu of tea-tree) oils.

I also started boiling up a concoction of apples, cinnamon and cloves.

None of this seemed to make much difference. My children still smelled like they'd been at the Uni Bar all day, and I was getting more and more desperate.

So, having tried the natural products, I eventually dragged the kids back down The Hill and bought out the Co-op's supply of Febreeze.

I washed every wall and sprayed as much of the ceiling as I could. This is the mark of a desperate Hausfrau.

DD thought the bathrooms were significantly improved after my efforts, but by the next morning things were almost back to the way they'd been before the Febreeze.

My morale is at an all-time low, although occasionally it gets put into perspective when (for example) DS says, 'Mum, have you ever had butter stuck up your nose?'.

No, but I wish I did right now.